I’m so sick

I’m so sick of this mind set. This mindset tells me that I am weak and numb and pained. This may be how i am… but it’s not who i am.

Two farmers asked God for rain during a drought… but only one of them actually went out and prepared his field accordingly.

I want to fight against the surface. I want to let who i am shine. Yeah… I’m not doing very well. But “who i am hates who I’ve been.” My actions don’t always prove to be as faithful as I am inside. My words aren’t like that of a saint. I know that I am not perfect; my imperfections will show one way or another… however, I would rather be imperfect on accident. I wish I could say I didn’t choose my actions or the words I’ve said. But I do. I want to focus on carrying myself like a saved woman. I’m so sick of sinning. These thoughts may not match up… but It’s what was on my mind.