I can't do this anymore...

I am having another lonely day. I am horrible at picturing the big picture. I can sense repercussions before they hit, but I couldn't tell you what is causing them. I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm now convinced that it's me. I am socially weak and enjoy friending people that are open and real about who they are. I try to be the same. It helps me to have close friends who are like this... But it often hurts too. Right now I am watching a friend avoid me. I don't know how it got to this point, but I'm here again and it's my fault. I know he and I have things to talk about and fix... But any time I approach him he's short with me, but has been spending the whole day with his ex. I like her well enough, but his behavior is so immature I want to hit him. There's nothing I can do. At this point I'm deciding to just wait for him to have time for me. I don't have the patience for drama. I don't have room in my life for drama. I'm just beat down. I'm having a hard enough time just being myself. I can't have close friends who pull this crap. Just the fact that this same guy friend got drunk in my apartment and acted ridiculous into the wee hours, I just can't help but feel like a lot of this is his fault. It's my fault that I don't see these things coming. In know I'll have problems with friends, but I can avoid this kind of thing in the future. If only I could figure out what it is that makes so many of my friendships like this.