question mark?

(Disclaimer: to anyone reading this... this is only between me and you.)

Oh... the joys of uncertainty. I know that I need to guard my heart against many, many things. Countless things that are completely unrelated to relationships... however, I have a head full of question marks tonight. How come God's will seems so precise and still so broad all at the same time? I know that guarding my heart is a wise and understandable thing to do. So how come it seems so radically unattainable this time? In my opinion the stakes we higher last time I 'liked' someone. I knew that things could end badly- but I also knew that things could be brilliant. Only God knew if things were according to his will. Now though? From where I stand, I don't know what to say about this one. I can't help but like him, but at the same time... I am trying to establish a state of mind that is just as excited and proud of him, even if nothing ever happens between us. Maybe, just maybe that's God's will this time. Not that I can figure out if this guy is 'for me' or not... but that I can give him to God without a fight.